Oh, my God. (Top dog god turned out to be a hippo). A thank you to Isaac Shapiro


Dearest Isaac,

For some reason I am going, at this moment, to write you something that is not at all finished in my head. There is not even a vague idea, except that …..
See, already now it stops.
Yet, there are a few topics that will come up and in fact the title says it all.

The hippo thing goes back to my long and extended having been occupied with family stories and the idea of having had hippos in the familie during my upbringing.
(The hippo metaphor comes form Tommy Hellsten’s book  HIPPO IN THE LIVING
ROOM, that introduced the concept of codependency to Finland in 1991).

And the thank you is one more in a long row of thank you’s in the past.

Recently I was reminded of the hippo story.
And also I happened to stumble over this videoed meeting of ours almost a year ago, where you, just before I hit upon a very old emotional insight, provided the later title of it: ‘I see that you waited for this your whole life actually’.

In a way what happened there was that I finally met with the most abstract of all the consepts that were in use for manipulation during my childhood. And also one that had hidden itself deeply into the system, into the nervous system and the tissues.

When I reviewed this video again a few days ago, it suddenly dawned on me that also God, at least the ideas that my parents and their protestant surrounding and a main part of the western culture had projected on God, had functioned largely like a hippo in the living room: you had to deny its influential presence and there were no real questions allowed about it.
(Here is the video that i’m referring to: https://www.hansvandergugten.nl/?p=3566)

A few month after this meeting, on my way to the retreat in Germany, there was a knowing that that would be the last time that I would make this long journey.
It suddenly had lost its lightness and self-evidence.

And totally unforseen and unexpected other things started to happen.
Culminating in the start last week of attending a 7 year Tao training.

After I met this Tao trainer the cosmos made me meet someone of ‘our’ sanga who is already for a long time  involved in Tao and a former student of this trainer.
He provided me with some background information and gave a nice analysis from his perspective. In fact he wrote also this: ‘I experience Isaac also as a Tao training, but more a yin variation, (not doing, surrender, let it happen) instead of the yang variation of action and doing’.
For me it feels like the right move. Althought there is no one doing it.

A month ago I came back from 100 days India.
Especially the six weeks in Rishikesh were refreshing for me.
The climate aside I would love to live there.
So, I said, as long as I can handle those stairs I’ll keep coming back.
We’ll see.

In a blog, alas in Dutch I wrote about the process that happened over there.
I translate the PS.
PS. I have an enormous respect and appreciation for the work that Isaac does. The whole embodiment has brought me (and him)  much. It feels like something that is important for the whole of humanity. I intend to go for an annual update to his silent retreats in Holland, to begin with the second week in Venwoude next month.
(Oddly enough, but what is called strange today, this decision was taken months

See you soon.





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