For the first time since many month I went to the Santo Daime again.
There was a Cura celebrated on the occasion of the birthday of Geraldine, the madrinha of Santo Daime Amsterdam. It was again a beautiful happening.
The efffects of the Daime were like I know them. Above all agreeable, sometimes impressive.
In the beginning I was mostly occupied with my place in this social event that was unfolding itself there, and felt again very strongly a vicarious pride for all those over a hundred fellow citizens, who all of them are taking the risk of (and are having the willingness to endure) unforseen clean-up operations, that can be accompanied by strongly vomiting and intense energetic discharges.
I saw and felt very clearly what a huge and bundled power is build up there.
During the last fase I felt my heart being opened up more by such an energy beam
(or how does one expres this?).
And there was a difficult to describe very short visionlike direct experience of some recently in India acquired insights: even ignorantness is essentially a part/trait of Consciousness, and thereby something divine.
Meaning that it is, in essence, a total mistake to get angry with it.
(Thru my childhood situation, where I was surrounded by scores of unseen and thus
denied ignorance, I ended up being in a kind of cruisade against ignorence, a
mission that thru its being intermingled with my survival did not sprout from
compassion, but was fed by anger and fear, fight/flight).
Enfin, that night I was sitting next to two boys who were participating for the first time. The one next to me was very restless and disturbed me invariably. Several times I have incisively pointed out my borders. (Afterwards he was very content with that). Later, cause he wanted to hang around the neck of his friend all the time, the helper had replaced me in between them. At a certain moment he stood up to go over to his friend and stopped in front of me. I felt indignation come up. Then, in a fraction of a second, in a minivision, I saw a kind of energetic movement: Consciousness changed in ignorence while it stayed Consciousness altogether and habitually anger came up. Anger that suddenly in full clarity became visible as totally ineffective.: this boys attention was everywhere, except there where he was. Grinning I did the most effective that came up. A little push in his back, while saying ‘yeah, walk on please’.
Also that night I kind of started to sing along, I connected my breath with it. And gave a sigh of relief while writing this down.
Maybe a good moment to put into words what ayahuasca/daime does, according to and for me: it creates a period in which one strongly, in body and mind, feels overall and undeniable that life is okay. And the wholesome side effect of this is that everything in you that is conditoned to not agree with that, will pop up into the sunlight and melt away. Felicitare. Hip hip hurray.
